Trust

Could someone tell me why it is so hard to trust? I really thought that my faith was strong and that I could trust my God with anything. I'm coming to find out that I really have no clue the depths of what He wants me to become. To trust him for literally every single breath that I breathe. To trust Him for every footstep that I take. To trust Him with my kids because they were His first. To trust Him with every word that I speak. To trust Him with every quiet moment He allows. To trust Him with the unknown curves and bumps in the road ahead. I want it so desperately to just let go and trust. To have the freedom to just be content with whatever He puts on my path. Why is it so hard. So hard. I feel like I'm trying to claw my way to trust but He wants me to just rest in trust. I can't just let go and free myself to fly. I want this:

Grant me, according to your riches in glory, to be strengthened with might through Your Spirit in the inner woman of me, that You may dwell in My heart through faith; that I, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to COMPREHEND with all the saints what is the WIDTH, and LENGTH and DEPTH and HEIGHT - to know the love of Christ which PASSES KNOWLEDGE; that I may be filled with ALL THE FULLNESS OF GOD. Ephesians 3:16-19